Top 20 Ways To Turn On Your Man

There are countless ways to get your man ‘excited’ in the bedroom. While men from all ages and different backgrounds have varied preferences as to what is hot and sexy, below are some of the tried and tested sure-fire ways to turn on your man:

Give him a massage

Nothing is sexier than rubbing oil on your man, giving long massage strokes that will unknot areas of tension in his body, and touching him all over. He will get super relaxed and excited at the same time. It’s a win-win situation for him (and you afterwards).

Dance in front of him

A dancing pole is optional. Self explanatory. Why do you think Carmen Electra’s pole dancing workout was such a big hit? Because men love it. Use music that is slow and bass-y. The less you smile, the sexier it’ll be…

Wear sexy underwear

Men are very visual, so let his eyes feast on you wearing skimpy underwear like thongs and lingerie… Think Victoria’s Secret, but there are so many other shops where you can get seductive underwear; you can even shop for them online. Yes, some of them are not the most comfortable to wear, but do you really want him to see you in those Granny undies all the time?

Send him a raunchy text message

It may surprise you to know, but men love getting raunchy messages. The element of surprise, in this case, most probably unexpected coming from you, is what makes it sexy. Make it random and don’t edit! For the fun of it, imagine him getting your message in the middle of a board meeting!

Wear stiletto heels

There’s something about very high heels that just make men smile (drool, actually). They are super sexy- it’s an image of confidence;it also has a hint of bondage (or BDSM), and when worn in the bedroom, it can really light things up. Surveys abound confirming that a big majority of men find wearing heels a big turn on.

Talk dirty

I know what you think… “I’m not that kind of girl…” but you know what, it’s secretly a fantasy of a lot of men to have their women talking dirty at them while having sex. If you haven’t done it yet, try it and see how it spices up your repertoire… Don’t know what to say? Just be natural. It’s okay to use some four-letter words. Instead of ‘straight sex,’ think of it as you being reactive and participative in whatever he’s doing to you; seeing and hearing your reactions will be very arousing for him.

Put on some costumes

Don’t worry that he’d think you’re trying on outfits for Halloween rather early… Dressing up in costumes is a classic move in spicing things up in the bedroom. I know you think cheerleader and nurse outfits are cliché, but there’s a reason why they are some of the top costumes in men’s fantasies. Role playing will always be in the top 10 of turn ons for both men and women.

Speak in a low, deep husky voice

There’s something about a hoarse, deep voice that men find alluring… maybe because it sounds confident, sure, and dominating, or because it sounds so relaxing yet seductive. Whatever the reason, try talking to him in a low voice and accompany it with a certain look in your eyes (that tells him you want him)… guaranteed it’ll be hard for him to resist you.

Kiss the back of his neck

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The back of the neck, or nape as they say, is one of the most sensitive areas in our bodies. When you’re behind him, try to gently and softly plant kisses on his nape, smell him, and just let your face touch his back ever so softly. It’ll drive him mad.

Wear some dramatic makeup

Maybe because some men associate red lipstick and smoky eyes to ‘wild’ women, that association is there for wild things in bed. Red lipstick will never be out of fashion, and for good reason. Try this: take out your tube and a small hand mirror and re-apply on your lips in front of him. Do it slowly and seductively.

Take a shower together

There’s something about water running on both of your naked bodies and being vertical. Add soaping your partner in his ‘delicate’ areas, and it’s a perfect tried and tested recipe for getting it on in the bathroom.

Be absent for a few days

Disappear! Don’t worry, you’ll be back, but don’t tell him that. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and there’s wisdom in this actually. Being away, short term, will leave him pining for you. Not too long that he’ll forget about you but enough so that when you get back, it’s sure going to be wild.

Watch a sexy flick

There are loads of films and videos out there, and I mean loads; your guy will generally be the more informed about this. If you’re not used to this kind of ‘gentleman’s entertainment’, try out the softcore ones like Emmanuel the series – very good for beginners – then maybe later you can graduate to the more hardcore stuff.

Cook him dinner

As the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I don’t doubt that a lot of men find Rachel Ray super sexy. Show off by making a three-course meal. Your confidence and skill will surely cook up a storm. turn on your man

Go camping in nature

Snuggling inside a cozy tent, looking up at the stars, listening to the sounds of nature at night… Ditching modern comforts and mobile gadgetries will bring you closer. Being in the midst of nature will turn on your man and also bring out the ‘animal’ in him…

Book a hotel room

When it has become boring to do it in your room or house, try to change things up by changing the location. Book a room somewhere where you’ve never stayed before. It will give you a break from the regular, and afterwards you can just chill out, in your own privacy, without having to worry about cleaning up. You can both be ‘explorers’ discovering the place for the first time. Staying in a hotel room also adds the hint of being illicit, which can be very sexy.


Sauna, hot tubs, pools. Watching you getting wet, half naked, and doing some graceful strokes will surely get him going; ask him to join you in the water and it gets more fun…

Work out

How can pumping iron not be sexy, right? Especially if accompanied with toned abs and arms… Although gym outfits are considered ‘sporty’ rather than ‘sexy’… it’ll surprise you to know that a lot of men find sporty women sexy. A woman in action is confident, purposeful, and very attractive.

Have a lot of confidence

The Dark ages are long gone and so is the thinking that women are the weaker sex. Yes, we are the fairer sex, but weaker, no. Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who knows what she wants, speaks her mind, and isn’t afraid to take initiative. This, in dating, sometimes means she picks up the tab after dinner, or takes a risk and kisses you the first time you go out. The confident woman doesn’t shy away from taking initiative in the bedroom, and trust me, men love it!

Go natural

Sometimes, going back to our most basic, simplest, un-refined selves is what men go for. If you’re the type who wears make-up all the time, then try going bare once in a while. And if you’re the type who’s always well put together and fashionably dressed, ditch your haute couture and put on his tees. According to surveys, men find it sexy when their women wear their clothes sometimes. And that is why ‘boyfriend’s pants’ will never be out of fashion.

So what are you waiting for? Try one or two of the above to turn on your man and see which ones work best!

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Erin Lane on Email
Erin Lane
I'm a Dating Senior Writer at Independent Femme. I'm famously indecisive and love to write about love, marriage, and making the world a better place for healthy and sparkling relationships!

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