In other words, if you were given a choice between the previous and the rebound, you’ll choose your previous lover in a heartbeat.
And let’s be honest, rebound relationships start off awkward and unreal. The nature of this relationship can be divided into two – first is the conscious effort to be involved, and the second is the opposite; you don’t know that you’re looking for a rebound.
Conscious or unaware: rebound relationship signs to take note of
There are always two sides of a coin—the good and the bad. What’s the lesser evil? Is it when you’ve consciously entered a rebound relationship, or is it when you’re unaware of your own needs and actions?
The lesser evil is based on the “inner intent” of the relationship.
If the inner intent is because you “really” feel something for your current lover, then at least you’ve a good start. A conscious effort coming from this intent is usually well-thought of. You’re aware of the rebound relationship signs and you tried to stop where this is going, but since you really feel something, you get on with it. You may still not be completely over your previous lover, but at least you’ve genuine feelings blooming inside.
In some instances, you may also have genuine feelings but are still unaware that what you’ve is just a rebound.
However, if you’re well aware of the rebound relationship signs, and you’ve ignored them simply because you don’t care, you’re guilty as charged. Most of the people who enter this bad kind of rebound are bitter and, well, as exaggerated as it sounds, heartless.
Most of the time, they want revenge or they simply want to let the whole world know that he or she can have anyone, right when the need arises.
From rebound relationship signs to real feelings involved
So, back to the million-dollar question: is it possible for a rebound relationship to be real at some point? The answer is absolutely yes. But of course, there are some aspects to be considered.
Awareness of the rebound relationship signs is a good sign because it’ll have you thinking. And thinking is good. Just a heads up: here are some of the most common signs you might notice:
From time to time, you still think of your times together with your ex.
You may demand something from your current lover that your ex possesses.
You find yourself thinking about how things went down—and how you could have made it right.
You have to be honest. It’s best to let your current lover know that you still have not gotten over your previous relationship. This step will set the mood and, of course, will lessen the unnecessary expectations.
There has to be a genuine effort to make the relationship work. The steps may differ, but the goal is just the same: to turn a rebound into a real commitment. This is the last step, but it’s perhaps the most important. There may be lingering rebound relationship signs, but the reality of the commitment is starting to show. All that is left for you to do is to nurture it.
As for bitterness, it’s pretty obvious that “revenge” and “playing around” will get you nowhere. The thing is that bitter rebounders don’t really want a genuine relationship, so nothing is lost for them. However, they are hurting people as they go ahead with their bad habits.
His Rebound, His Loss
How offended would you be if someone like, say your boyfriend, was only with you because he couldn’t imagine a life without a girl by his side? Okay, let’s make the question a little more straightforward. How would you feel if your boyfriend was only with you because he wants a rebound?
Granted that not all rebounds are of ill intent. When rebound relationship signs show up, it could mean one of three things. First, your boyfriend isn’t aware that what he has with you is a rebound relationship (good, because at least it means he respects you), secondly, it can mean that he knows you’re a rebound, but he really likes you too, so he chooses to explore the relationship blooming between the two of you, and third, it can mean that he is a total loser and he just wants to show you off: a testament that he can get a girl any minute he wants.
You can easily accept the second scenario because the chances of having a real relationship is high, but the other two might offend you and, worse, hurt you.
So, what are the rebound relationship signs that you’ve to watch out for?
- You have memorized THE story – This is perhaps the most classic of all the signs. He has told you, for like a gazillion times, the story of how he was dumped by his ex. Maybe that behavior is normalfor the first few dates and talks (he is a guy and his ego was hurt), but over time, it’ll be exhausting– not to mention fishy.
- Compare and contrast- How come family experts say that comparison between siblings is never good? It’s probably because it puts a crack in the relationship of both the siblings and the parents. It’s not healthy if your boyfriend is ALWAYS comparing you to his ex — how she dressed compared to what you wear, how she took care of him compared to what you do for him.
- He is SO into you – During the first few weeks of the relationship, he will show that he very much wants to get to know you better. He is way too eager. You may feel flattered, but lo and behold, it’s one of the best rebound relationship signs.
- He is too intense – Okay, if he is too physical (clue in, lots of sex) but he dislikes communication, then be honest and ask him immediately if he is serious with you. Being very ‘touchy’ and ‘sensual’ often times means that he is just in it for that– nothing else. Perhaps, this is the most hurtful of all the signs.
- What friends say – If his friends actually confide in you that it seems too fast for him to be in a relationship, then you might as well believe a little of what they say. But then again, you’ve to investigate on your own. Listen to them, but don’t fully rely on them.
- There’s no future – When you talk, you only talk about casual things: things in the present that don’t hold any significance for the future. Translation: you’re just with him for a while, so there’s no need to plan ahead.
- The lines – When you fight, this line keeps popping up: it’s not you babe, it’s me. Heads up; that is probably true, a very obvious rebound relationship sign. So gear up and get ready to talk to him about it.
Blow the Whistle! Rebound Relationship Violations
A rebound defined in basketball means getting the ball back after someone missed the shot. But how do you objectively define a rebound relationship? It’s one that follows after a long-term commitment. If that relationship did not last for one month (give or take), that’s one big rebound relationship sign. This is usually a “phase” that a person uses to mend his or her broken heart. Enough said.
It’s an “excuse” so that you’ll be able to prove to others (and most definitely yourself) that you’re someone who deserves to be loved and cared for. On a bad side, this relationship is also used as a form of subtle revenge—you want your ex to know that you can easily move on and that he or she can be immediately replaced.
Now that those are covered, let’s discuss the major rebound relationship signs that may be dangerous for you and your current lover. The moment any of these signs shows up—blow the whistle, it’s a grand violation!
- Being overly demanding – since you know that things did not work out in your previous relationship, you start expecting and demanding things from your current partner. These demands are geared toward making the relationship “be just like” the previous one, only much better. This sign is taxing and will only ruin your commitment to each other.
- Acting up in front of the Ex – here’s the big scenario (and one big rebound relationship sign you cannot ignore!): when the Ex shows up, you become sweet and mushy to your partner. You hold hands, you kiss, you offer terms of endearment, and make it loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room. Nothing is wrong with that, except if you’re not naturally that way. It might havebeen better if you put a sign on your forehead that says, “I still have not moved on!”
- You put up with everything – do you feel like your current partner is too much for you to handle? Perhaps she’s too clingy? Or maybe your man is too possessive? You feel like something is deeply wrong with him or her, and yet you find yourself putting up with the misgivings. Watch out for this rebound relationship sign because it spells disaster at all angles.
- You’re miserable – this sign speaks for itself; if you’re miserable even when you’ve someone by your side, why do you keep doing it? Think hard—is it better if I’m single? Maybe then you’ll have time to properly address your issues, and perhaps you can focus on more important aspects of your life, like your career.
The last consideration is this one: Do you really want to hurt your current boyfriend?
He or she may be in it for real and yet, there you are—getting hot and cold depending on your mood. Keep in mind that it’s not his or her fault; why make them suffer?
Moving on, how can you tell if there are no violations at all? Sure, there may still be lingering rebound relationship signs, but do you otherwise feel happy?
Here are the “in the rules” signs that you’ve found real love:
- Doubts come in and out, but they are more or less centered on being afraid that you love your current partner. There’s a solid motivation on your part to make it work, not because you’re desperate, but because you want it.
- You serve honesty and respect on a silver platter.
- You find yourself thinking about your relationship instead of getting bitter about your previous one.
If these three signs come your way, welcome real love with open arms!